the breath robbing lightning, was making diamonds of rain

infomercial

so i woke up in the middle of the night last night and could not go back to sleep. so what did i do? i did what any other brain dead dummy would do. i turned it on comedy central. so after two hours of Insomniac with Dave Atell (a great time waster) an infomercial came on. now i've seen every single infomercial you could throw at me. timeshares, naked girls, very vague money making schemes and what have you. So I was vaguely amused when i saw an infomercial for penis enlargement. (watch it with the jokes!) i've never yelled at an infomercial before last night. it started out with the usual. an overly tanned guy and a woman made almost entirely out of silicon. they were boasting the effects of their miracle drug 'extenz'. now this is when the yelling started. both the host and hostess kept saying "the drug that makes 'that certain part of the male body 25% bigger'". why couldn't they say penis? why?!!! it's three in the morning. it's basic cable. It's comedy central for god's sake! they say penis at ten am in the morning on the discovery health channel. it wouldn't have been as bad if they had said once or twice, but these motherfuckers said it every minute. i was yelling at the screen "penis!!!!!!!!!it's called a fucking penis!!!" ahem. anyway it got even worse from there. how you ask. two words. Ron 'fucking' Jeremy, which i believe is his actual middle name. for the rest of the show he was interviewing female porn stars, being generally randy, but without actually saying the dread p word. they wouldn't even let ron say the p word. how fucked up is that. the only thing i can think of is maybe they were thinking it might air during normal hours, but even i wouldn't think penis would be taken out unless they planned to show it between saturday morning cartoons. what a world this is. we're at once becoming more violent, but more sensitive. i can't take it!
sorry. i think i need to lie down for a bit.

Posted by cainnum at 5:15 PM