I don't know
Not much to write about the moment, except for my daily inner turmoil.
I have a blog because.....
I like to see my ideas in print and available for public viewing. I like to get ideas and feedback from my friends. I also think it definitely helps keep in touch with my good friends that I don't get to see much of.
I need approval and acknowledgement of my thoughts and actions? yes. and no. Basically the comments I get let me know that people are reading my blog. If I don't get comments, I don't know if it's being read, and get frustrated, because I don't see the point in talking if no one hears me. This also taps into my deep seated self esteem issues. "Well nobody reads my blog, nobody cares" I don't think that necessarily, but along those lines. I know I need confidence. Maybe I should think of confidence as thinking that people care, whether they do or not. Who knows?
Also I know this is my fault. I need to promote by blog more. I tried linking random blogs that I like and commenting on them, but that didn't help. Also I'm lazy.
What it boils down to is that I find myself at a crossroads. One road says "blog whenever you feel like it, and if people comment, great" This is the most popular one. The next is "Keep your chin up, post as often as possible, just to spite the low readership", this one is doubtful, and the third one says "Eventually give up, erase the blog, and never talk to anyone again" this one, as much as i hate to admit it, i've thought about before.
I'm a very emotional person *duh*, and I take things very personally. I've been this way a long time, and I've tried to change, with very little luck. Maybe one day i'll stop caring as much.
God that sounded depressing.
Posted by cainnum at 12:11 PM
5 Comments
Dude, I hit 6 years of consistent blogging (or diary-ing) on Jan 1, this year. At this point, I think do it out of total habit.
Dude, seriously, you need to stop looking for approval from other people. Personally, I blog because it helps me get my mind sorted out, and if nobody comments, yeah, it makes me feel like I'm being stupid or something, but I still do it because I realize that A) people have lives and can't always take time to comment on my blog, and B) if they don't like my blog they're all just poo poo heads anyway.
I have a fever, so I can't tell if that was too mean or not. If it was erase that whole comment and fill in the empty space with some nice soothing elevator music. :)
that wasn't mean at all. it was very helpful actually. from both of you. i'm sorry you have a fever. were you going for mean? also elevator music is never soothing. it's always annoying
I'm saving up all of my comments for when you visit. hint, hint. Plus, I used to comment all of the time, and you constantly talked about how no one commented. Then, I stopped, and you stopped complaining. I thought that my codename was Nobody. :)
No, I wasn't GOING for mean, but it seems to happen all the damn time, so I'm never really sure when I'm being mean and when I'm not. So I thought I would take a pre-emptive strike just in case. :) That's true about elevator music. Just blame my slip on a fever haze.
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