infomercial
so i woke up in the middle of the night last night and could not go back to sleep. so what did i do? i did what any other brain dead dummy would do. i turned it on comedy central. so after two hours of Insomniac with Dave Atell (a great time waster) an infomercial came on. now i've seen every single infomercial you could throw at me. timeshares, naked girls, very vague money making schemes and what have you. So I was vaguely amused when i saw an infomercial for penis enlargement. (watch it with the jokes!) i've never yelled at an infomercial before last night. it started out with the usual. an overly tanned guy and a woman made almost entirely out of silicon. they were boasting the effects of their miracle drug 'extenz'. now this is when the yelling started. both the host and hostess kept saying "the drug that makes 'that certain part of the male body 25% bigger'". why couldn't they say penis? why?!!! it's three in the morning. it's basic cable. It's comedy central for god's sake! they say penis at ten am in the morning on the discovery health channel. it wouldn't have been as bad if they had said once or twice, but these motherfuckers said it every minute. i was yelling at the screen "penis!!!!!!!!!it's called a fucking penis!!!" ahem. anyway it got even worse from there. how you ask. two words. Ron 'fucking' Jeremy, which i believe is his actual middle name. for the rest of the show he was interviewing female porn stars, being generally randy, but without actually saying the dread p word. they wouldn't even let ron say the p word. how fucked up is that. the only thing i can think of is maybe they were thinking it might air during normal hours, but even i wouldn't think penis would be taken out unless they planned to show it between saturday morning cartoons. what a world this is. we're at once becoming more violent, but more sensitive. i can't take it!
sorry. i think i need to lie down for a bit.
Posted by cainnum at 5:15 PM
the airport
i, for the first time
step past the doorway
and notice, with a hint of shock
that i am covered
dirt, glass, blood, grass
anything else that might stick
and you brush me off
dragging me away
like a christmas tree
and without question, i submit
watching the cars swim by
gripping your hand for dear life
wondering what happened while i was gone
"you were never here" i heard
but all i could see was a smile,
a ticket pulled, a car parked
and the living parts
of a vacation glow before me
the airport
bleeding with strangers and friends
cold stone floors meeting tired feet
a pamphlet
describing the wonders of a city
i have never been to
hustle: countless travelers queueing at the vending machines
bustle: empty elevators waiting for your company
a stranded island of luggage spinning forever
a statue of the noblest of women
too much to handle for two eyes
and one mind
but i take it all in
and this is our secret getaway
our treehouse
our underground bunker
'what is the best thing that's happened to you today?'
a trip to your local airport
Posted by cainnum at 4:07 PM
psp me!
yes i know you are all getting very tired of psp this and psp that. but i don't care. i'm too damn excited. materialist or no, this thing is gonna be awesome. they're even having a midnight release party at gamestop so i can play the wireless games with other people. this is gonna be way better than the ds. i can watch movies while i'm at work or school. now i'll never get anything done......
yay!
Posted by cainnum at 4:39 PM
hey SXSW, up yours!
i'm sure i'm not the only austinite who feels this way either. 'hey lets have a festival where we bring in loud, obnoxious, and dirty people who trash our city, drink all our beer and clog our highways up.' crap. people will do anything for a damn dollar nowadays. yeah i know i'm gonna get flak for sounding like an crochety old bastid. i don't care. it's annoying. bleh.
Posted by cainnum at 2:28 PM
As Ice Cube so eloquently put it.....
....today was a good day. Got a haircut, a charger for this super-cool sony discman my sucker-brother gave to me, got a copy of the Incredibles, and-d-d-d-d, .....? oh yeah, i didn't have to go to school today. granted i am at work. ok maybe not a
good day. but definitely a not crap day. at least i didn't wake up lookin' like
this.
Posted by cainnum at 3:22 PM
ok....party not over.
as i am typing this, i am still kinda messed up from last nights debauchery. it was jarrod's birthday, so we all got drunk and played miniature golf. i haven't partied this hard in a long time. all i know is that for vodka made in texas,
Tito's is pretty damn good.
Posted by cainnum at 6:26 AM
party's over..
ick. back to work. still sick. at least i don't have any school next week. thank you for coming to visit joshie. i had a lot of fun, despite being sick. don't worry about spending all my money. if hadn't wanted to, i wouldn't have. is my grammar correct? who cares.
Posted by cainnum at 3:02 PM
interesting times
well the last few days for me have been pretty hectic. *yes i know that 90% of all blog posts start with that sentence* i've been running around shopping with my family, hanging with my new girl, going to my first
first thursday, going to school every freaking day, and trying like crazy to keep the apartment from falling apart. if you are josh or dave or margie and you are reading this, i will be in denton, possibly even late tonight. however i'm not sure if i warned you yet that my brother will be with me. he should be out of the way for the most part. and the last sentence of this post will be.....
Posted by cainnum at 10:32 AM
